Becoming Verbs
by mark lincoln seiler
copyright 1996 psychobabble/lsds

"I couldn't believe how dark the sky seemed after that…"
Ernst Weber looks up at the man talking. "Mein Gehirn fühlt sich wie ein Kolibri," he thinks to himself.
"…It was then that I realized the true magnificence of what I'd seen…"
Herr Weber decided he needed to get some fresh air. He got up as inconspicuously as possible and made his way out. "John Birch society supported by UFO's. What garbage," he mumbled to himself once safely out the doors of the lecture hall. The room had all types in it, physicists, scientists, parapsychologists, guerrilla ontologists, conspiracy theorists, and whoever else felt like showing up. "Trans-conscious auto hypnosis," he thinks, "That's all it probably was. Most people would rather believe that there's some subliminally controlling race of humanoids from another galaxy then face the fact that it's a self-created hallucination originating from parts of their brain they've grown detached from reacting to the stimulus of another being's consciousness."
He looks up at the sky, watching as it starts to gray over, clouds swirling and thickening, threatening to rain. He turns as he feels the presence of another, tearing his mind away from the clouds. He looks towards where he feels the vibrations coming from, only to discover it's just a cat.
"You're hungry," Herr Weber observes.
The cat looks up at him, and then runs away as the thunder finally cracks overhead.
Ernst sits down on a nearby bench, not minding the fact that he will soon be reached by the storm, and, at his current location, quite thoroughly saturated. He tries to feel out his surroundings with his mind, as he has been training himself to do. "JND=KI; reduce the K while increasing the I. Igni Natura Renovatur Integra; feel the energy of everything's fire, free from the construct of the imagination." He lets his mind drift… Dirt is matter in the wrong place… he feels the storm… Thought is mind in the wrong place… he feels the people in the lecture hall; bored, intrigued, tense, exited, scared… Matter is mind, so thought is dirt… he feels a surge and loses his grip on the surrounding energy.
"Scheiße." He tries to push away the frustration. "Somewhere in the collective unconscious must lay the key to all of this. I've come this far. So many were so close; so many have found their key. Einstein knew. V"=(V+V')/(1+(VV'/C^2)) No one teaching, system, or method can work for me--I must incorporate as many as I can to create my own. Frustration will lead to stagnation, which will lead back to frustration. Break the cycle before it begins."
Feeling a bit more at ease, Herr Weber rises and waits for a taxi to come by.

Joey Santiago looks over at his friend David. David was enthralled by the speaker, Dr. Jacques Vallée, who was discussing UFOlogy, and the possibility that they were the product of something terrestrial. "This guy makes a lot more sense than a lot of those moonies," Joey mutters to David.
David slowly looks over and mumbles, "…creature in the sky… sucked in a hole… hole in the sky…"
"Shit, you're still tripping?"
David looks at him in a confused manner.
"Don't tell me you're so gone you think your head's on straight"
David turns his attention back to the speaker. "Later, man, I'm trying to catch what this cat's saying."
Joey looks back to Dr. Vallée, and tries to follow what he's talking about now. Something about running astronomical readings through some computer he'd programmed some special way, and how it created conclusive evidence that UFOs were some secret technological advance of some government or society that was very much human. "Shit man, I don't know about all this computer stuff, I mean, if a computer tells you the dog next door flew a UFO over the Eiffel tower last night, that doesn't mean shit. It could just feel like saying that. Computers are scary man, we give 'em way too much credit."
"Alec Eiffel, pioneer of aerodynamics!" the speaker shouts, looking Joey dead in the eyes. Joey grabs David's arm and almost falls out of his seat.
"Shit man, what the fuck!?! How could he hear me from there? Whoa, what's wrong with your face? What's going on? Oh god, I gotta have another hit…"
Joey stumbles past the other people sitting in their row of seat, drawing a bit of attention and annoyance to himself. As he gets to the aisle he picks up his pace and heads out the door, around to the side of the building, and down an alley. "goddamn weather." He looks up at the clouds, wondering why they are all red and swirly, and if it has something to do with UFOs, maybe controlled by nazi remnants. He fiddles in his pocket, pulls out a slip of paper and proceeds to suck on it. He looks back up at the clouds. They swirl apart, and a saucer-like thing starts to descend. Joey blacks out.

Phyllis looked around the room. All these so-called experts and their followers. Probably mostly all faggots and druggies. Raving about UFOs and "spiritual awareness", when they were all just sinners. The Holy Spirit is all the spirit any good moral person needs. She hated these types of things. She wanted to go back to her hotel room and have a good stiff drink.
She was the head of Lamb's Light, a moral majority organization. Part of what she felt she had to do was to seek out all the people trying to fill others' heads with thoughts of things like evolutionism, UFOs, and the teachings of false gods. Know your enemy. "What this country needs are laws to have all these druggies, and faggots, and pagans, and liberals, and street trash killed!" she thinks to herself. She thinks this to herself quite often, in fact. This may be one of her main qualifications for the job she has, the essential leadership of thousands of good God-fearing American citizens. The people that made this country great.
Some other speaker came on, talking about humans migrating to space, and all sorts of technology that would do things like harnessing solar power and whatnot to make it all possible. "Imagine that! Wanting to move God's own off God's green earth. Hey, shoot all the sinners into space, good riddance. Phyllis got a program out of her purse, determined based on the topic that this was the last speaker, and, figuring he had nothing to say that would give her any further enlightenment, decided to leave.
She got up, not making any large attempt to be inconspicuous, and gave anyone who looked up at her distastefully a dirty look right back. When she got outside it was raining quite hard, so she decided to try to get a taxi, in spite of the fact that her hotel was fairly nearby.

<title>becoming verbs</title>
<meta name="keywords" content="Ernst Weber The Pixies Moral Majority cinema HTML modern writing Aleister Crowley Bucky Fuller Albert Einstein Qabalah UFOs conspiracy life energy">
<BODY bgcolor="#666666" background="bkg1.gif" text="#000000"><center>
<font size=+3>
<a>There is a fire...</a>
<font size=+2>
<img src="crowley.gif">
<a>"The Universe were swallowed up in flame --Shemhamphorash!"</a>
<img src="pixies.gif">
<a>"And if the devil is six then god is seven!"</a>
<img src="moral.gif">
<a>"And the Sinners shall all Burn in Hell!"</a>
<img src="bucky.gif">
<a>"I seem to be a verb."</a>
<img src="bavaria.gif">
<a>"It wasn't a lie. Illuminate me!"</a>
<a href="index.html">"And there is Chaos, and there is Discord, and Everything is both True and False, and Synergism being Nature's Coordinate System isn't just a Crazy concept, and I sit with the Heretics and await my Five Minutes..."</a>

SKY, DAY. ABOVE STORM CLOUDS. LONG SLOW DOWNWARDS PAN AND FALLING SHOT. CAMERA dives through clouds and slowly drops on a southern California city in mid-autumn from directly above, coming down eventually on a large building that would be the type to house a lecture hall.Thunder
The building is in the middle of a large block of short school/office type buildings. Light assorted traffic on the street in front of the building. THE BIG BANG by Bigod 20 fading in over thunder, which begins to fade down].
Man casually walks out of the building, and looks up at the sky. A cat slinks out of an alley next to the building. Man looks at cat and talks, causing it to run back into the alley. Man [faintly]: "You're hungry,"
Man walks over to a bench approximately fifty meters away from the doorway, on the side of the alley, near the street. It starts to rain on him. He seems not to notice or mind.Thunder [growing progressively closer].
Other man comes out of building a bit unsteadily, walking towards the alley, mumbling to himself a bit. He looks up at the sky, and takes a piece of paper out of his pocket, putting it in his mouth. He stares at the sky more intently for a few seconds and looses consciousness, collapsing in the alley. Other man [mumbling]: "…goddamn weather…"
EXTERIOR. TIGHT SHOT OF MAN ON BENCH. Man jerks as if startled, his eyes snapping wide open. He quickly begins to relax.
EXTERIOR. WIDE TRACKING SHOT OF WOMAN COMING OUT OF THE BUILDING. Woman exits the building and walks slowly towards the street. CAMERA curves around woman to include man on bench in shot. Focus shifts to man on bench as he gets up and wanders towards the street, further down from the woman.Loud crack of thunder

Ernst Weber was waiting by the side of the street, hoping a taxi cab would come along before too long. A little bit further down the street Phyllis was hoping the same thing. She looks over to where Ernst was. "Looks foreign, sophisticated, not too old, not too young, too clean looking to be a druggie or a sinner or one of those people with AIDS, that faggot disease," she thinks to herself. Ernst notices her looking him up and down. "Hmm, she seems interested in me. She's not unattractive. Maybe I should talk to her," he thinks. He walks over to where she's standing, brushing his hands over his face and hair, trying to look good in spite of being soaked by the rain, which he notices is starting to ease.
"Good afternoon, are you waiting for a ride?" he asks.
"Actually, I was hoping a taxi would wander by. And yourself?" she replies, thinking, "He seems polite enough."
"The same. My hotel is near, but I am not familiar with this area, and fear I would take a wrong turn."
"Where are you staying?"
"In the Regal International."
"Yeah? Me too. I was just hoping a cab would come along so I wouldn't be stuck walking in this rain. Seems I just ended up stuck in the rain anyway, only I'm not any closer to the hotel now. Were you at the lectures?"
"Yes. And you?"
Phyllis nods. "What did you think of it all?"
"Hmm, mostly a lot of garbage."
"Perfect," Phyllis thinks to herself. "I agree. Seeing as how the rain's clearing up, would you like to walk back to the hotel together? Maybe get a drink? I know the way well enough to eliminate your concerns of getting lost."
"I would be delighted. My name is Ernst Weber, by the way."
"Oh yeah, I'm Phyllis." She looks off and smiles distantly. "I had him pegged perfectly," she thinks, "he definitely seems like he'll be easy enough. Just need to get a few drinks in him. And in me, too. Just what I needed to relax."
They start to walk away down the street continuing to talk to each other. "…are you single…" "yes… how long are you in town…" "…couple of days…"

After a few minutes Joey Santiago's friend David walks out of the main entrance to the building. He looks around for a bit, calling for Joey.
"Hey! Joey, you around somewhere, man?"
David eventually makes his way to the alley, and upon seeing his friend collapsed in the middle of it, runs over to see if he's okay.
"Shit!" Joey was breathing shallowly, and was twitching a little, either due to the drugs, or rain, or both. "…must be a devil between us…" David mumbles, trying to revive Joey from his state of unconsciousness. Having little success, he props his friend against the building's side and runs to find a phone on which to call an ambulance.

As Ernst and Phyllis are going up to her room with a bottle of scotch and a bottle of gin, an ambulance's siren can be heard passing, but they don't pay it any mind.

There are some things one must keep in mind…
Ernst Weber is on the right track, he just needs more practice.
Albert Einstein's the loony now.
Joey Santiago's not just on pixie dust.
Phyllis is an alcoholic and a hypocrite.
Hollywood is a front.
The HTML section's effects can be viewed at
The Bavarian Illuminati uses the Templars to control the Vatican in exchange for the use of the Book of Kells, and hackers electronically steal money from Las Vegas to fund this religious takeover.
Were it not for R. Buckminster Fuller this piece could not have been made.
Everything you read is a lie.